Can you hear me pray?
A prayer that screams into the lightyears. A reminder that perfect is not prayer.
I send this with faith of the feelings I had, not in the words I use.
I trust the soil under my feet
The sky above my crown
& the forests in my heart
as salt water streams crawl down my face
I trust the kindness of this world
even in its human kind
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.
- “Fear” by Khalil Gibran
The oceans that have pooled under my cheeks
The Rivers’ flow winding my chest
the motions of my my chest as it breaks open again and again
Heart break that makes way for ponds, lakes, and streams
grooves that guide the avalanche
the upcoming disaster
Salt water springs erupting in the many corners of my galaxy
washing up my fear of a life intact,
of porcelain plates made for displays
I had to rest my head,
I spent my time foraging;
Foraging thyme, sumac, and sun kisses
Siham showed me the many ways mother can provide
She guided me once, a foraging sherpa up hills, down the divide.
unfolding my checkered dress I see all
how did antonyms become evident to understanding,
is this Zaatar because it is not Sumac?
is this Coriander because it is not Parsley?
how much of the world have you understood through opposition?
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With my foraging hands, my limitless love, and the folly in my frock
I possess a botanical pharmacy of the universe,
Placebos and pills, for every pain and to quite down whispers of ill will
Placebos, pills, and venom.
Nothing is as kind and as timely as venom,
rationed and administered with wisdom
with intention of grace
eat from my plate
harvest your clean slate
go up your hill, forage your feelings,
the world is shaking;
Shaking off axis but your feelings will keep you still:
May you, YOU forage:
TO FEEL SAFE
Safety is at the heart of curiosity and at the edge of ill intent and scarcity.
TO FEEL FREE
Freedom bound with fear is not free
Freedom is at the corner of fear
not chains or incarceration or identities
TO FEEL GENEROUS
Avoid the notion of charity
The obsession with power & duality
Adopt our cause together on this hill for collective liberation
for healing our ails, for generosity
for a space for everyone & all to feel free
TO FEEL KIND
Bandwidth is privilege
we have collective skin in this game
we cannot pay privilege back
we are not allies
we are all drowning
Feel kind as you hold up your hand to either be saved or hold someone else
or as you swim your way
we are here for a while
We can float, we can swim, we can drown
TO FEEL CALM
* claps *
Only when you have been validated,
only when you understand
how you want to be seen
& how they’ve refused to see you
will you reach a calm fresh pond within your soul
where you can sit & feed the ducks
without wanting to perform
without wanting to test your own
when you gain that trust of yourself, of your earth
that is when anxiety will be a memory
Antonyms go a long way
Synonyms go longer
May we have variety in what we forage, diversity in the ecosystems we foster and the world can escape the two.
Is your definition of us expandable?
is your definition of what you can forage shrinking?
is it just groceries? can you grow it? can you expand?
Getting out of my head is often as simple as tying Buraq and all the gold I have weighed his saddle bags with to someone else’s wailing wall.
Release of attention, resources, and energy.
Antonyms tell me depletion, but the moment I tie that horse
is the moment my shoulders climb back up
the salt crusts on the walls of my ventricles wash off with the brut force of the river
from the melting snow of my heart caps
the fresh water I need
enough for me, for you and the city
as opposed to what?